P. Divvy Thinks

If blogging be the food of love, read on!

Valentine #8: Mystery Girl!

A little about Mystery Girl: I met this girl at a Halloween party, and she asked to be in a picture with “the Werewolf. Because that's just cool.” I know nothing else about her, except what she was wearing, and I'm not sure I even remember what she was supposed to be. I didn't get a name or number, just two pics of this cutie.

Commence Wooing
Who cares what your name is? What's that thing they say? “A rose by any other name would be just as sexy.” I think it was Confucius who said that. Wise man, that Confucius: full of witticisms. I personally think he could have gone onto being one of the leading philosophers of his time, if he weren't so absorbed in his cookie-making business.

Your name could be Gertrude or Agnes, and I'd still call you “Red hot spicy mama!”

My name's Paul, by the way.

Our Dream Date: I had one clue about this mystery girl. She was wearing a pentagram around her neck, meaning she's pagan. But I already used up the bonfire idea on Diana Carvalho, so I'm going to need to do something new.

Knowing nothing about her, I'm going to have to go with the thing all girls like: Bowling! There's no better ice breaker, because either people are impressed with your skills, or are charmed by how much you suck. I really don't know what it's going to be, because I vary from night to night.

Then to show my sensitive side, we'll rent Marley and Me, because nobody can make it through that movie without crying, and if they can, you know they don't have a soul.

Here's another pic of her, by the way:

Anyone know who she is?

Today's Subject: An Imaginary Girlfriend, Part I

I love telling people that I'm content to be single. And it's true. I'm content to stay out late at odd hours of the night without anyone knowing or caring where I am. I also like not having to seek anyone's approval. Most of all, I love making reckless decisions that affect nobody but me. But eventually, I'm going to want to jump into the dating scene again. I saw the first sign last night.

I woke up around 3:00am and saw a silhouetted figure to my right, reclining in my bed. I could see it was a young woman. So I scooted closer to spoon her, whoever she was. As I approached her, I realized she was just a pile of books and my laptop. A king-sized bed is too big for even my tall Dutch body, so one half is used for sleeping and the other half is “my office.”

I hear humans are wired to think squiggles are faces and objects are anthropomorphic. But most people would jump out of their bed if they perceived a stranger next to them. I think my reflexes are a bit off, though. A fire alarm woke me up when I was living in the UMass dorms, and instead of making my way to the door I buried my head under my blanket until my roommate dragged me out of bed. That was very good of him, because I know he hated me.

On the other hand, I'm very easily spooked in other situations. My friends and I once walked into a Victoria's Secret store and all the fumes from their signature scents must have been going to my head, because I swore to my friends that the mannequins were moving in my peripheral vision. One of them pulled me out and got me a cookie and soda from Mrs. Fields to calm me down. Meanwhile, another one of my male friends was helping my girlfriend pick out panties. Now I always make sure the mannequins are still before entering any lingerie store.

I'm either really lonely or really easy-going, and I hope it's the latter. I mean, maybe “I think I'll spoon her” is the right reaction when you see a strange girl in your bed. Anyway, this has given me an idea... Stay tuned for tomorrow's entry!