P. Divvy Thinks

“All roads lead to... the best things in life are... all's well, that ends with me!” - Gaston in the stage adaptation of Disney's Beauty and the Beast

Valentine #4: Nichole Wadleigh

A little about Nichole: Nichole was the lead in a production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, in which I played Gaston, her would-be-lover. She is a brilliant actress with a gorgeous singing voice and it has been a pleasure sharing the stage with her. Let's see if I can't rekindle our failed romance.

Commence Wooing
Baby, I've said it all before, but I'll say it again:

You're the most beautiful girl in town, baby! And that makes you the best! And don't I deserve the best?

Our Dream Date: I would send Nichole a lovely invitation made on construction paper detailing my plans to go on “a lovely platonic evening” with her, in which we go to a dance studio and learn how to tango, followed by coffee “between good friends.”

In the middle of our dance lesson, a brick will be thrown through the glass with a note attached that says, “Nichole, we got your cat. If you ever want to see her again, send $250,000!” I will then swear to her that I will be able to rescue her cat, just so long as she agrees to elope with me that night.

There's only one thing that could go wrong: I don't know if she has a pet cat.

Today's Subject: Love and Wealth in Disney

I was reflecting on how it's far more romantic, to me at least, to fall in love poor than to fall in love rich. The title character of Disney's Aladdin is far more charming than Princess Jasmine's other suitors. Then it hit me. I haven't seen a Disney movie where both lovers were poor.

In fact, every movie ends with the happy couple living happily ever after in a big castle with more wealth than a Bank of America CEO would know what to do with. Why? Because that's just what love does. It elevates you, not just spiritually, but economically.

It's a bit weird. I don't know whether Disney is trying to use the castle and riches as some sort of metaphor, but they're implying that your life is somewhat less rich without love.

I think the best example is Beauty and the Beast, because of its protagonist, Belle. She is one of the more interesting Disney princesses because she wants more than just love. The first song, in fact, is about how she wants to do something radical and leave her quaint provincial life behind. In a reprise that follows Gaston's (the villain) marriage proposal, Belle makes it clear that she wants besides marriage:

“I want much more than this provincial life.
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell
And for once it might be grand
to have someone understand
I want so much more than they've got planned.”

She ultimately finds an understanding lover in the Beast who is attentive to her needs. We can only hope that they had a wonderful honeymoon and continued to have adventures, but we don't get to see that part. All we know at the end is that she's living in a big mansion instead of that boring old village for the lower middle class.

But based on the first song, it's not too surprising that what she really needs is a man to love her. In the middle of it, she escapes her banal existence by reading her favorite chapter, where the heroine meets “Prince Charming.” This lets the audience know what she needs even more than what she says she wants.

Here's a YouTube clip of the song:

Social climbing through love seems to be the ultimate goal for most heroines, or heroes in the case of Aladdin. There are two possible messages I can derive from these movies. One is that love between two people is a magical thing, just so long as one of the parties is wealthy. The other possible message is that love will provide. Belle has all these crazy wild dreams of traveling the world, and marrying the Beast might be her only chance to make them come true. Once you find true love, everything else falls into place.

I have a lot of bitter single friends who like to complain about how Disney movies gave them false ideas about love. I'll say! It would be miraculous for any of us to find our ideal lover, but these animated films go on to tantalize us further with the promise of wonderful castles.

Don't get me wrong, I still think that for the right couples love can be a positive thing... but sometimes I get the feeling that these films were meant to indoctrinate us into thinking marriage was the end all and be all of our existence, which ultimately leads to reproduction, which increases the reserve force of labor, so that workers will work for low wages because the job-to-person ratio is ridiculously low. We were led to believe we were going to be princes and princesses, but really, we're all replaceable cogs in the corporate machines!

I do enjoy a little animated escapism every so often.

Thank you, Nicole Mayne, Bekki Sailer, and Camee Manderfield, for being the best triage of smokin' babes a hot stud like me could ask for.

One more questions for my loyal readers:

I found this ad on Craig's List:

Semi-cougar ready to roar - 31 (Western Mass)

I am seeking a sweet younger man for companionship, and maybe more. I would like to meet someone between 20 - 28 years of age, hot, slim, Caucasian and ready to please me sexually when he's asked. I want to be your sugar mama and spoil you rotten. If this sounds like something you're interested in, please contact me. If anything, we can be friends with benefits. Please send a pic, and I'll send mine.

Looking for really handsome guys....

Sounds promising. Do I respond or not?